I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
