Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
