I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
