Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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