People with herpes should wear stickers.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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