mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
