i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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