Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
