do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sext me about skeletons
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
