why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
