just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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