just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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