After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
