Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
