Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
