I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
