Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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