seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
