I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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