The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
