Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
