Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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