Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
