Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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