The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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