I puked a lego.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
