So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
