He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i dont even know how to be here
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
