I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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