Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
