dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
