you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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