Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
