ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
