I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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