I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
