..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
