she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
