when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
