I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
