I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
