Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
