So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
