he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
