whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
