i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh god it's open bar.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
