pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
