I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
