ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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