Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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