JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I want to fling myself into the sun
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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