please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
