I accidentally burped into my bong.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
