did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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