it was like having sex with a tree stump
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
