I want to have your abortion
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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